Maybe. it.'s. not. you.
We have always said a successful relationship between an assistant and our managers is like a marriage.. first you need that initial “click”, that vibe you get when you’re connecting with someone on your wave length, and then you need to consistently work at it. Like any successful relationship, it will need constant work and commitment from both sides to keep it working well and progressing in the right direction.
But sometimes things don’t work out, or they do but then something changes and you’re not right for each other anymore. It’s hard when this happens, and it sucks, it really does. We’ve been there and we know how hard it is, and a lot of the time as support staff, we take the fall, the blame the flack – of not being good enough, not performing to their increasingly higher standards, for not knowing they’ve changed their minds about something, not being able to mind-read at all times, for not being “perfect”. Let’s face it, when is the person we support ever going to turn around say “Don’t worry it’s me, not you!”.. um probably never!
We all know you can’t make them be on time to a meeting, communicate with you, tell you what’s happening etc. if they don’t want to. As support staff we can often be the scapegoats – how many times have you heard someone say “oh I didn’t know about that meeting I missed”, or “it wasn’t in my diary - my assistant didn’t accept it/tell me about it” (when you know it was something he/she chose not to show up to!) – so frustrating! But we sit and smile, and take it all, because after all, our role is to make them look good, even to our own detriment.
So we just wanted to say, that maybe it’s NOT you, maybe it’s THEM.. maybe they are the ones not great at their jobs, not great at communicating, not great at being clear about their expectations or changing decisions, and you get the blame. Maybe they are overwhelmed or have mentally checked-out. Maybe they are the ones with relationship issues. Maybe they are the ones who are hard to work with.
This is a reminder that you are amazing, you are a kick-a$$ EA/PA (or whatever your title may be). That you are good enough, that you are doing good and if you’re struggling or going through a tough time with your boss or role, know that you are not alone! We have all been there in one way or another at some point, and take comfort in the fact that we know it’s probably them and not you! So if you need a wine or a coffee, and someone to vent to that understands, we’re all here for you and the Sassy tribe has got you!
Nis & Sarah